Saturday, September 8, 2012

9 movies to ruin your first date

Here is a list of extreme and disturbing movies, certainly nothing for anyone below 18 or 30 years, you have to have the mental constitution and media competency to digest these, otherwise your soul might get folded like an Origami went wrong.
These are perfectly suitable to ruin your first date, normally your date becomes your opponent, throwing up and/or just walk away. If not, your are dating either
- a fellow cineast, so you can look forward to countless hours discussing movies. Dreams can get true.
- your psychiatrist, so that straitjacket isn't a fetish toy…
- YOU should walk away as quickly as possible

Anyway, these movies are giving your first date that certain Taxi-Driver extra:

1. Salo by Pasolini. An important movie showing how victims becomes offenders. Very intense and precise, watching this felt like getting skinned alive, was thinking about leaving the cinema. Was banned in Germany. The most gross effect (those who have seen it, know what I mean) was done with Mousse-Au-Chocolat and orange jam, actually yummy when you think about it.

2. A Serbian Movie
Seems to be the new king of disturbing movies. Haven't seen it and from what I read about never have the intention to. But yeah, said the same when I was looking at the lobby cards of Dawn Of The Dead, but that was 1978 and I was 8 years old, perfectly happy with Disneys Snow White, Godzilla movies and Bud Spencer. Meanwhile I enjoy watching the original Dawn once a year, reconstituting my distrust in mankind and 70s wardrobe.

If you ever need some depressions, paranoia and want get rid of your appetite or any positive attitudes towards sexuality, this might be your ticket. Maybe watching Bambi several times after that cures the wounds.

3. Last House On The Left by Wes Craven
Hard to believe that David Hess was in general a nice guy and wrote songs for Elvis Presley and others, but thats acting. One of the first movies combining a Chainsaw and a human being, 1 year before Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
A modern version of Bergmans Virgin Spring.

4. I Spit On Your Grave
Haven't seen that and don't feel I ever want to. Main actress of the original 70s version is granddaughter of Buster Keaton.

5. O.K. from Michael Verhoeven
A german take on the horrors of Vietnam war or war in general. Everything looks fake and it tries to break the illusions of film, but its intense, has a snuff feeling and it brought down the Film Festival in Berlin 1970 because of the eventual dispute. Haven't seen it yet but I am curious, but it might damage my soul. Gustl Bayrhammer is in it but Pumuckel left the building.

6. House On The Edge Of The Park
Deodatos coverversion of Last House, complete with David Hess again in action.

7. Night Train Murders
Another italian Last House/ Virgin Spring version

8. Irreversibel
Not seen yet but Whitehouses William Bennett was impressed by it so it cant be a casual movie

9. Henry, Portrait Of A Serial Killer
some parts are uneasy to watch, I was suffering

Another nominees are Clockwork Orange (although the over styling ease it a bit),Ms. 45, Man Bites Dog and Deodatos Cannibal Holocaust (I wanted to like it because of its intensity and being a precessor of Blair Witch Project and others, but animal snuff is not acceptable ) and countless more…